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Live reviews
Rotterdam Rumble, Waterfront
- September 1st, 2nd, and 3rd
By Jens
At the awesome Primitive Garagefestival in early July I noticed
a flyer for Rotterdam Rumble. After going back to Copenhagen
I picked my brains about if I should return to Waterfront
for another 3 days of drunken rock'n'roll fun. The program
differed somewhat from Primitive's strictly 60s garagerock
profile, Rotterdam Rumble had more punk/rock'n'roll-ish lineup
of names. The ticket price was also a bit lower than Primitive,
30 Euros for 3 days, 21 bands, and it was still dirt cheap
to go by plane which only a bit over an hour, and I was in
the company of a good James Lee Burke novel.
 I
arrived in sunny Rotterdam around 15.00 and headed for Waterfront
which had a place for my bag. I started drinking De Koninck
beer once again in Waterfront's bar, and noticed that the
average age among the audience was a lot younger than at Primitive.
The first two bands, the local 16 year olds Juicy Zooters
and British Random Heroes, were fast poppunk, pretty okay
but not really my kinda rock'n'roll. Hmm...not really the
best start of the festival, and I quickly grew tired of drinking
normal strength beer and went for those evil 9.5% Tripel beer
at a restaurant and watched a duck trying to rape another
in the river. On my way back to Waterfront the beers had done
their work and I had some troubles walking completely straight.
Suddenly somebody hollered, "Hi Jens!", in a strange
British accent, it was my internet buddy Captain Dynamite
of The Coyote Men. We never met before in person, so I surprised
he knew who I was. Well, a 40-ish redhead viking with a beergut
and an unsteady walk probably gave me away, haha. The Captain,
drummer Manny "No Nose" Galiano (both 'unmasked')
and I returned to Waterfront, I wanted to check out the powerpop
girls of The Lulabelles. Quite a pleasant surprise, they kinda
reminded of the Fastbacks, and after they did a cover of The
Bangles, I of course loudly yelled for a Go Go's one. Apparently
somebody noticed me from the Primitive and outside the bar
I started talking to people I met at Primitive. Next up was
The Kidnappers, a welloiled German '77 punkrock machine, which
expertly combined hooks, attitude and melody. Kinda like a
rougher version of The Real Kids. Fuckin' outstanding! Get
their brilliant "Ransom Note & Telephone Calls"
album. The Fatals are pretty popular underground trash punk
combo outta France, I dug the music but had some trouble adjusting
to the singer who was screaming like something out of an old
Accüsed record. Duo's are pretty hot at the moment, and
Mojomatics belong in the top league as they raged through
a set of tight-as-an-ants-rectum high energy blues mayhem,
more Jon Spencer than White Stripes but with better songs.
From Italy, look out for them! The headliners of the first
day were none other The Coyote Men, whom I always wanted to
see, but I had to settle with all their records on my crummy
stereo. But not tonite. My expectations were sky high, and
our Mexican wrestlers of Newcastle exceeded that and then
some. The masked foursome tore into an aggressive set of full-on
trashy rock'n'roll with classics like "Primitive Urge".
Their cocky energetic attitude 'provoked'  one
of the audience who tried to wrestle Helmut "The Bruiser",
bad move as he was soon sandwiched between the singer and
Captain Dynamite. Guess there is a wrestling move named after
that, I dunno, 'The Richard Simmons Turkey Split', maybe?
haha. Great show, best of the day. Talked to fellas afterwards
about a lot of silly things, the rhythm section are planning
to form a metal called Northless, which is appropriate since
Venom hails from Newcastle. Apparently Cronos is living above
a horror video store smoking bongs all day! The last thing
I remember was us dancing like flamin' queens in the bar.
Edith, a booker at Waterfront, was kind enough let me sleep
over at her place with a cool youngster named Ron in another
part of Rotterdam.
 Woke
up kinda confused surrounded by an impressive library of interesting
books on pinups and crime. Ron got some cheese, ham and bread
and I noticed an angry old black cat by the window. It was
Edith's beloved 22 year old feline who desperately wanted
to get in. She had to work at Waterfront so we walked with
her through the nice and cozy neighborhood. My Primitive diary
was kinda mean to Rotterdam's crazy and ugly buildings, but
this part of town made me eat some of my harsh words. Not
a bad place to live. Since we arrived 2 hours before the bands
started; Ron, me and some of his cool friends (including guitarist
Don Juan Peyote of local garagepunksters deluxe Fury 161)
got shitfaced pretty quick. Another poppunk combo, the local
Accelerators, started the day with some Screeching Weasel
worship in the bar, so we stayed outside by the river guzzling
brewskis. Lo-Lite was a nice change since the 2-piece delivered
some hardass slide blues rawk not unlike a punky Hound Dog
Taylor. ACE! It was time to eat, and I was talked into trying
something exotic, a Suriname restaurant in the southern part
of town. The Suriname kitchen is a unique mix of Indian, West
African, Creole, Indonesian, Chinese, and Libanese food. My
lamb/potatoes/curry/eggs/pancake dish was quite spicy, and
everybody was of course grinning at my reaction since I have
had poured on some spices I wasn't familiar with. Anyway,
it was delicious meal which needed plenty of cold beer to
go with it. When we got back to Waterfront I sadly just missed
Rawhypnols, a great Swedish cock'n'roll combo which I've seen
before in Copenhagen, and I also didn't get to talk to singer
Pär who at one point wrote for Lowcut. Instead a punkrock
band (Zatopeks) dressed up as The Village People was entertaining
the crowd. The singer dropped his pants at one point and showed
his willy…man, did I miss Primitive's Lucy Dee's Angels
International Go-Go-Go-Go Girls, haha. Fun band. The Apers
are one of the most popular bands of Rotterdam, but again
poppunk ain't my thing if it's the Queers-like kind. The Undertones
do it the right way. I met Captain Dynamite outside and he
guided me through the cocktails at the Tiki Bar since I was
getting tired of beer. One of last year's greatest gigs was
seeing Digger And The Pussycats in London on my 40th birthday,
and it was totally energizing seeing Andy and Sam up on the
stage again. And the crowd totally ate up their irrisistable
brand of trash punk rock'n'roll and wicked Aussie humor. They
even dedicated "Coming To Get You (You Drive Like A Cunt)"
to me, thanks guys. I didn't care much for A Radio With Guts
so I hung out with my young Aussie buddies who are on a looong
Euro tour (see my live review from Copenhagen elsewhere) which
ends in February! It was great hearing about their experiences
in Europe and we agreed to hook up in Copenhagen and let'em
try some of the missus' cooking. Meanwhile coyote man "No
Nose" had passed out up against a wall outside the bar
but my promise of getting him some Schnapps didn't impress
him, haha. The after party went on to 5 in the morning, and
there was a big harbor festival with massive fireworks, but
thankfully Edith had been kind enough to give me the keys
to her apartment.
 After
a good breakfast and talks about politics and TV series (I
shamefully admitted being a fan of "Desperate Housewives")
Edith was told she had the day off, so I went by myself to
Waterfront for the last day of rock'n'roll, made that important
call to the missus that I was okay, and ate a cheap Turkish
pizza. More intensive boozing, and yet another poppunk band
(Sonic Dolls) started around 17.00. I was anxiously to 69
Charger, a German punk'n'roll combo which excellent "Trash
Deluxe" LP reminds me of Zeke and Columbian Neckties
with a southern hillbilly feel. And boy did they deliver the
goods! One of best shows of the weekend. I then checked out
the record booths and bought a lot of very reasonable priced
vinyls and cds with Ghetto Ways and Girl Trouble. Afterwards
Ron and his friends (including Fury 161 singer Don De La Tourette)
and I went to a more 'conventional' restaurant and I got some
boring conformist spaghetti Bolognese, what a daredevil I
was, haha. But thankfully beer is extremely cheap at restaurants
in Rotterdam, only 2 €. I talked a bit about my strange
Johan Cryuff fetish as a kid since I don't care for sports
nowadays. Again I missed a band, The Four Slicks (with Jon
Von of Ripoffs fame), DAMN! Retarded from Italy played yet
another dose of poppunk, dejavu was started to set in. I saw
Wiseguy at the Metropolis festival, and tonite was their final
show, so there was tonsa free beer in front of the stage.
A poor blow up sex doll was molested during their set of Gluecifer-inspired
r'n'r. Nice way to go out. Great band. Ghetto Ways was next,
a KILLER trio outta Brooklyn which raunchy set completely
floored me, kinda like a more soulful version of Oblivians.
The drummer Harry Warwick was sorta the leader of the band
and sang on half of the tunes, but it was rock chick supremo
Jenna Young who stole the show with her sexy voice and scorching
guitar playing. OUTSTANDING!! King Khan ended Rotterdam Rumble,
just as he did Primitive, but by then I was pretty beat, and
wanted to be kinda fit to for the flight home, so I went back
to Edith's place.
We woke up pretty late the next day so I sadly missed the
Robert Crumb exhibition at a museum in another part of Rotterdam,
damn damn damn! Well, I have to catch that another day. She
followed me to the train, what great display of hospitality!
I felt sad leaving Rotterdam for the Shiphol airport, but
I'm definitely coming next year. Waterfront and Rotterdam
are highly addictive. So thanks to all the cool folks and
great bands I met and saw.
http://www.rotterdamrumble.com/
http://www.waterfront.nl/
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